Peace Beyond Understanding

Many times  situations arise in our lives that we struggle to understand; I know I've battled with this of late.  As I prayed for understanding, the Lord began to speak to my heart.  The first thing that He began to show me was that I need to begin to pray for peace in the situation instead of understanding.  I'd been hoping that if I could somehow make sense out of what happened that I could find peace.  But I've realized that I need to seek God's peace that will go beyond my understanding.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, He spoke very clearly to me through a couple of books that I'd been reading about having idols in my life.  One book described it as having "excessive adoration or reverence of any person or thing."  I knew that God was putting His finger on an area I had not considered before.  It was amazing, but when I acknowledged and confessed it, I felt a release come over me that I haven't felt for a long time.  Gifts that had lain dormant were brought to life again.  I felt free somehow, and the barriers that hindered me were gone.

Shortly after that I was watching Joyce Meyer, and she had Phil Pringle on her program talking about wounded spirits.  One thing that Joyce said really stuck with me; she said that she finally came to the place in her life where she knew she had to stop asking "why?" and just let it go and accept the fact that she may never know the "why" for the things that had happened to her.  Again, our quest for understanding, that can be so fruitless in the end.  We have no idea what can be released when we open our hearts and obey without the full understanding of why.

God's work within, and the power of repentance and forgiveness fills me with reverence.  I feel that I've been given another chance at something that I thought was dead and I want to handle it with care.  Things might not turn out exactly the way that I want it to, but what can I say, I'm a prisoner of hope!  Like Lazarus, God can bring to life what seems dead and gone.  As long as I live He will never cease to amaze me...

Power In Weakness

I was asked to write a short devotional for our Go Missions Teams that are being sent out this year, so I thought I would share it with you:

It was another hot day in Mexico, and I could feel that dull ache behind my eyes that comes from being on a mountain at a 7,000 foot elevation in the sky, and from traveling for 14 hours in order to get there. I was still feeling a little traumatized and homesick after giving up my full-time job and leaving all of my friends and family to spend ten weeks in Mexico doing heaven knows what.

We had made our way to the church first thing in the morning, and I still had that queasy feeling you get in your stomach from being up way too late and getting up way too early. All I wanted to do was to go somewhere and hide for a little while, until I could get my bearings so to speak, and to get my feet under me. But before I could get lost in the woodwork, the pastor of the church came up to me and said “Kellie, I would like you to come and pray for a young lady who is battling with depression and suicide.” My first thought was “Oh God, I am not ready to deal with this. I don’t have what it takes to help this woman right now.” As Pastor Ted would say, I felt about as spiritual as a peanut!

Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever felt physically or emotionally worn out, and totally inadequate for the challenge that God has placed before you? Chances are if you are involved in a mission trip, and are reading this devotion right now, then you will know exactly what I am talking about. But let me tell you that you are in one of the most powerful positions you could ever be in. Bill Johnson says: “Everyone needs to know what it is like to minister out of weakness. Everyone needs to know what it is like to write a spiritual cheque that you don’t think you have the reserve of strength to back it up. It’s a big deal to step beyond what you don’t think you have the grace for, and see how God shows up and does a miracle.”

You know what, I put my hands on that young lady and I began to pray, and after a while I stopped, and the pastor said “She doesn’t really feel anything is happening, we need to pray again.” So I did, and I felt the power of God begin to flow through me. Finally, she began to smile and she said “I feel as if something has been pulled up through me and right out of the top of my head. It’s gone! I can feel it, it’s gone!” I watched the transformation come over her face as God set her free from the oppression that the devil had her under, and I watched her come to church every Sunday for the ten weeks that I was in Mexico. Not bad for someone who was suffering from jet lag and homesickness, and believe me, God can do the same with you, no matter how you are feeling. Just trust Him, get out your spiritual pen, and get ready to write that cheque from God’s million dollar bank account!

Through The Seasons

Thought I'd add a few pics from my deck - I will call it the 'My Deck Through The Seasons' or maybe 'Deck The Halls' montage.  
I got these beautiful red berries along the road in Cape Breton.  I kept seeing them as I was driving along, and finally I couldn't wait any longer, I just had to have them!  All I had with me was a little box cutter and I was standing in the bushes trying to cut off the branches and praying that no one would stop and catch me!  I know, I know, praying I wouldn't get caught swiping plants, that's a whole other conversation for later :-)

I had hoped they would last for the winter, but alas, the hurricane weather we've been having lately did a number on them, and I had to let them go.  

Actually, the weather has done a number on quite a few things on my deck recently.  The latest, my plastic angel that I had standing outside for Christmas.  She took flight last week and landed down in the woods!  I'm thinking that I'm going to let her have her freedom...

Home For Christmas

Time has gotten away from me and my blog is being sadly neglected.  I've got a lot of things bubbling away waiting for me to have time for a 'creative moment,' but they are hard to come by these days!

I've made a few changes, check out the blog list and the books I've added.   Just in case you don't know what to buy someone for Christmas, books are the way to go :-)

I'm going home for Christmas, were my childhood home waits along with my Mum, sisters and all their family!  Home, it warms the heart and there is nothing quite like the farm to bring peace and rest to my spirit.  

To all my friends and family, may you have a wonderful Christmas, full of laughter, special times and memory making fun!

Remember The Maginot Line

“Remember The Maginot Line”. This is what the Lord said to me a couple of weeks ago when I was at the front of the church during our worship service. I hadn’t thought about the Maginot Line for years, but I knew exactly what He was talking about the moment that He said it to me.

“The Maginot Line” was a defense system that the government of France had built along its’ border with Germany, because after WWI they were determined that their country would never be invaded again by Germany. They erected a series of fortresses, walls, and bunkers, stretching all the way along the border and ending at the alpine forests where the mountains began. These fortresses were manned with French soldiers who stood guard at all times. The line was named after a famous French general, Andre Maginot.

As the Second World War started, the world watched as Hitler and his armies first invaded Poland, and Czechoslovakia, and then set their determined sights on France. The French people were assured that their country remained secure because the Germans would never get past the impenetrable wall of the “Maginot Line.” They could sleep at night because there were soldiers standing watch at all times. What they did not take into account was that Germany had planes that could fly over the Maginot Line, and they had tanks that they were able to maneuver through the thick pine forests, and up the steep inclines of the mountains beyond the end of the line. Within a matter of hours and days they had broken through the famous Maginot Line, and very quickly made their way to Paris.

The German Nazis used a battle technique called “blitzkrieg”, which operated on three basis foundations – the elements of speed, surprise and confusion. They would move in with great speed with their planes and very agile tanks, seemingly coming from nowhere, and cause such confusion and panic among the civilian people, that the defending armies were practically powerless to defend themselves because they were unable to operate around or through the fleeing masses of people.

Do you have areas in your life that are not so much areas where the devil attacks you, but that are more like immovable walls that are built up before you, and regardless of the amount of prayer or what strategy you use against them, you just can’t seem to get past them or around them? Do you ever hear things go through your mind like “You’ve been in debt for years, and you always will be.” Or “You’ve struggled with this problem/relationship forever; nothing is going to change.” Or even “You have been praying for that unsaved person for years, and no prayer or no word that you say is going to make any difference.” Massive, imposing, unmovable walls that you keep coming up against time after time, and no amount of praying, or reasoning, or strategizing has seemed to change anything.

When the Lord spoke those words to me that day, He told me to spread my wings and get ready to fly. We need to remind ourselves that even though the enemy may have built up incredible walls against us, the Lord, in an instant, can cause us to fly over those walls or go around them in ways that the enemy never imagined. He can cause such confusion among the devil and his demons that they will be unable to fight against us. Prayers that have seemingly gone unanswered for years will suddenly break through.

So, if you are facing some seemingly immovable walls that the enemy has built up against you in your life…just remember “The Maginot Line.”

Sharing Heaven

I decided to share my little piece of heaven with some good friends, so we moved the table outside and had a great evening together! God has blessed me with the richness of wonderful friends...

My Haven

I’ve decided that I’m going to give it a go at resurrecting my blog, and I thought I would start out with these pictures of my deck. I call it “My Haven”, and that is what it has been to me this summer.

There is a scale that I have seen before where they measure the amount of stress in your life by certain life events that happen to you, like losing a job, getting married (or divorced) etc. I looked back over my life this year, and here are a few items on the list of what I have gone through:

-Quit my job in order to do missions work
-Lived in a foreign country for 10 weeks
-Returned home and found out that I had to move out of my apartment
-Was jobless for two months
-Lived out of a suitcase for two months
-Moved into a much smaller apartment and had to downsize in a major way
-Started a new job
-Went through some very painful relationship issues
-Was in a car accident and totaled my car – did not find a new one until five days before Christmas.

In reviewing this list, I think I must have racked up a few points on the scale!

In some ways, it has been a very difficult summer, a difficult year actually, but when it would all seem to be too much for me, I would go and sit on my deck for a while, and somehow I would make it through.

I remember reading in one of John Eldredge’s books where he wrote about the grief that he experienced after his best friend died, and he said that the only thing that would really help him was to be outside, to be surrounded by nature. It was the one thing that seemed to bring him healing. I feel the same when I sit outside and I listen to the birds, and watch them flit among the trees, or see the sunlight filtering through the leaves. It does something inside of me. It feeds my soul.

It was a bit of a transition to move into an apartment that is much smaller, but what I did not take into account when I moved in the winter, was this wonderful deck that I have. It’s like having an extra room, and if there was any way that I could move my bed out there, I would!

It’s been a bit of a quiet summer actually – much different than any I’ve experienced for a long time. I’ve spent many evenings out on that deck just thinking and praying, and sometimes I feel guilty when I see how busy some of my friends are, but when I think about the fact that I spent last summer living in a house with nine people (5 of them children), living on tortillas and beans, and doing children’s VBS programs every other week, I don’t feel so guilty any more! I just say “Lord, there were a lot of twists and turns in the road that brought me here, but I am thankful for ‘My Haven’.”

Home Again!

After a long delay in the LA Airport, it was wonderful to put my feet down on Canadian soil again! A numer of friends were there to greet me, they were a sight for sore eyes, and I was a sorry sight for the eyes, 24 hours with no sleep and in need of a shower :-)

God Never Disappoints

Saturday, August 4th:

Maria was back again today. I always know when it is her because the motion sensor beeps for a long time because it takes her a while to get up the stairs! I immediately said to the Lord "OK, can we do this again today? Do you have something new for her today, because I have nothing within me to offer her."

She said that she is feeling much better, but that she just wanted to come again for prayer. It made me realize that this is her only outlet, that she does not have a church to go to in order to be built up, and probably has no one to talk to about the Lord, so she comes to us.

We began to pray for her and again I felt the presence of the Lord very strongly in the room. After a while I asked Absalom to ask her if she had ever asked Jesus to come into her heart and her life. She said that she had done that 20 years ago, and that she had even been filled with the Spirit and spoke in tongues before. She also mentioned that there were members of her family that were involved with sorcery, which I found very interesting because I have felt all along that she was suffering from the effects of witchcraft somehow.

I told her that I was going to pray for her that she would feel the presence of Jesus in every area of her life even more than she had before, and that she would be protected from the effects of sorcery in her life. I began to pray for her and bless her, and after a while she raised her hands and began to cry and speak in tongues. After that she took my hands and began to place them on every part of her body where she had a problem - her back, her stomach, her head. It was kind've funny, but I guess she wanted to get the full meal deal!

The peace of God totally filled the room after we were done. I had a Spanish bible for women that I had brought with me that I was thinking of giving to someone else, but the Lord spoke to me and said that I should give it to her. I know that she needs to be built up in the word everyday.

This has been a real learning experience for me. I've learned that healing can sometimes be a process, and not always something that happens in an instant. I've learned that we need to seek out the source for people's ailments; that they are not always just physical. And I've learned that God's mercy and His power are new every day, that each time we come to Him He has something new and greater that He wants to do in us. We may feel like we run out, but He always has that next higher step that He wants to take us to all ready and waiting. I've also learned that if you are hungry and seeking for Him, He will never disappoint.

Layer by Layer

I wanted to share with all of you the ongoing story of God's work in the lady that we prayed for before. I was sitting at the desk by the door, and when she came in I went over and gave her a big hug and I asked her how she was doing. She said "I'm not doing very well at all," and she just broke down and started to cry. I got her to sit down and I put my arm around her and asked her to tell me what was wrong. She explained (with Absalom's help) that she had gone to a chiropractor about her back, and that he had told her that she was going to have to spend 2 - 6 months in bed. She kept saying "There's no way that I can do that!"

There happened to be another couple from the church who were there at the time, and we all gathered around her and started to pray. I was leaning against the wall behind her and when I put my hand on her back, I felt like an electrical current was going right through my arm. I was glad that I had a wall to lean against! I kept praying and asking God to show me the source for all of her sicknesses, and again, just as from the beginning, I felt that somehow a door was opened into her life through idolatry or withcraft of some sort. I really prayed against those things in her life. She cried the whole time that we prayed, and then she sat very still for a long time. Finally she said that she felt much better, that she was at peace.

You know, it's funny, but even while all of this is going on, sometimes you have these thoughts going through your head like "is this really going to work?", "God, are you really going to heal her?" It's hard, but you just do what you feel God is telling you to do, and you have to leave the rest up to Him, there's no other choice.

I went back in my journal last night and read the entry for July 23rd and it was about the struggle that I was having over going to Puerto Vallarta, and how God showed me that it was about much more than just not wanting to go there. One of the things that He said to me was "What if I have someone in Zacatecas that I want you to pray for, and you are in Puerto Vallarta?" I think she may have been one of those people. What if I had missed it?


Maria came back again today! This time she had a big smile on her face and said she is feeling much better, that she is able to go out and walk now, which she hasn't been able to do very much of lately. She said she talked to her doctor and told him that her back feels better because she had us pray for her. She said he wants to talk to us!

She asked me to pray for her again, so I took her into the other room and got a chair for her. I went to see if Absalom was busy (he was on the phone) and when I came back in the room, she had her hands raised in the air and she was already praying. Now that's expectancy! Again, I think my arm got a little longer today! Sometimes I feel like I am going to push them right over. I really took my time praying for her today, and I believe that God completed something. (I was reminded of what Mahesh Chavda in his book, 'The Hiden Power of Prayer & Fasting,' said when he prayed for this woman over several days and wondered why she could not receive complete healing until the last day, and God showed him that there was this creature over her that had tentacles, and each time he prayed one of them dropped off, until the final day when the last one dropped off.)

She kept touching my hands and saying that she could feel such heat coming from them, and she touched my forehead and said "you are hot all over!" She said that she knew that God had given me wisdom in how to pray. She explained that she would love to come to church on Sundays, but that her husband is not able to walk and she does not want to leave him alone. She wants to try and help in some way with the feeding programs that they do here from the church. Something tells me that we will be seeing her again! You know, the Lord told me this morning that today was going to be really special, and I know that He was right.

What do you do with all of these blessings that He keeps pouring out? God told me a couple of weeks ago that I have to learn how to use what I have been given, and doubt is definitely one thing that I deal with. Is it going to work? Is it real? Am I doing something wrong that will hinder what God wants to do? I think He's showing me that it IS real, and it DOES work.

Wow, I've gotta catch my breath now!