Then, a couple of weeks ago, He spoke very clearly to me through a couple of books that I'd been reading about having idols in my life. One book described it as having "excessive adoration or reverence of any person or thing." I knew that God was putting His finger on an area I had not considered before. It was amazing, but when I acknowledged and confessed it, I felt a release come over me that I haven't felt for a long time. Gifts that had lain dormant were brought to life again. I felt free somehow, and the barriers that hindered me were gone.Shortly after that I was watching Joyce Meyer, and she had Phil Pringle on her program talking about wounded spirits. One thing that Joyce said really stuck with me; she said that she finally came to the place in her life where she knew she had to stop asking "why?" and just let it go and accept the fact that she may never know the "why" for the things that had happened to her. Again, our quest for understanding, that can be so fruitless in the end. We have no idea what can be released when we open our hearts and obey without the full understanding of why.
God's work within, and the power of repentance and forgiveness fills me with reverence. I feel that I've been given another chance at something that I thought was dead and I want to handle it with care. Things might not turn out exactly the way that I want it to, but what can I say, I'm a prisoner of hope! Like Lazarus, God can bring to life what seems dead and gone. As long as I live He will never cease to amaze me...
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